Tonight I watched a “news” program on the television monopoly Globo channel called Fantástico. For the Americans, this show is Good Morning American meets Nightly News. It’s hosted by Zeca Camargo and Renata Ceribelli who I believe someone told me are married to each other. (Update: They are not married. It is another show I was thinking of.)
The first story was about a car crash in which a two-year-old baby was killed (I think). Very sad, but the odd thing was that the victim driver, the baby’s father, was only shown in silhouette to hide his identity. The criminal drivers were able to hide their faces from the cameras after they exited the paddy wagon. The message was don’t drink and drive, a noble one. But the segment struck me wrong, kind of like some (staged) government propaganda film.
Similarly, the second segment was about dog fights. A woman was walking her dog when suddenly (it looked like) a bunch of dogs attacked this dog. A man appears on his bicycle and begins to beat one of the dogs with his bike. Then, suddenly, law enforcement, in the form of transit workers, appear out of nowhere in their car, jump out and start kicking the dogs!! I swear, not making this up. And a camera was conveniently capturing all of this from above. The guys who showed up in the nick of time to kick the crap out of the dogs were interviewed about what to do in case you are in the throws of a dog altercation. Huh?
Then, there was something about bears, a bungee-jump gone wrong, and how you should not use a bumper and a whole bunch of stuffed animals and blankets in a baby crib if you don’t want your infant to suffocate (old news in the U.S.). Oh yes, and for some reason, a large blue chicken made multiple appearances. The big chicken made an appearance and at a toddler school to terrify them.
There was coverage of a senior citizen adventure trip called Pedi a Deus (I asked God) where they played bingo, bought souvenirs, watched a snake show, and then they were all thrown into a raft in the river. I had to check to be sure I was still watching Fantástico and that we hadn’t transitioned into another television program, because this senior bus trip portion was absurdly long.
There was some festival coverage and then someone who fell into the ice in Russia. Well of course, someone from Brazil is not going to be aware of the dangers of running across a frozen river!
On to Miss Brazil who got into a car crash and because she didn’t wear her seatbelt in the back seat and is now temporarily in a wheel chair (but still sporting full-on makeup and a fancy scarf around her neck brace – what a trooper) and then I couldn’t take anymore. It was only half over. I put in more than an hour, so I believe this satisfies my attempt to be Brazilian for today.