My Portuguese is not coming along as quickly as I want (need) it to.
Last week I told our maid Lu that I wanted to pleasure her cousin.
I won’t make an excuse for this lewd behavior, but I will provide an explanation. I was distracted by Sophia’s demands as I pushed her on the swing (“Mommy, push me higher! Higher! No, now I’m scared. No, higher now!”) when Lu told me her cousin would be working for my sister-in-law. What I wanted to say was “Great! I’d like to meet your cousin.”
In English, when you meet someone, you generally say “Nice to meet you.” In Portuguese, you give a similar greeting, “muito prazer,” only the literal translation is “much pleasure.” So in my multi-tasking state, I associated “prazer” with “meet” instead of “atender” and came out with “Eu quero prazer sua prima,” which, hence, translates to “I want to pleasure your cousin.”
Sure, Lu appeared confused when I said it. But I thought it was my accent that was throwing her off, so I repeated it a couple more times. Slower and more clearly.
It was only a couple days later that it hit me what I’d said. Too late to go back and try to explain (in Portuguese) without making it uncomfortable and worse.
I’ve also told Lu, as well as others, that I’d like to eat a purse, and that I’m finished eating my purse. (cake = bolo, purse = bolso)