Monthly Archives: September 2010

5 Reasons Why It Rocks To Be A Stranger In A Strange Land

Just to keep this blog from swinging too far to the cynical side, because the truth is I love being here in Brazil (’cause it’s constantly providing me material), I’ve decided to post the reasons why it ROCKS to be a foreigner (specifically an American foreigner). Continue reading

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Update: Language of Love

My Portuguese is not coming along as quickly as I want (need) it to. Last week I told our maid Lu that I wanted to pleasure her cousin. I won’t make an excuse for this lewd behavior, but I will … Continue reading

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Update: Communication Discord

Yesterday, I went to get a much needed facial (between the change in climate, and the pollution, I was in bad shape). As is customary, once I was set up, the facialist turned on some “relaxing” music. Only… it was … Continue reading

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Show Time

…I erupted in helpless giggles over the idea that this was what an American tourist might be wearing in London. I had never seen anything like it. But similar to my Gossip Girl wardrobe experience, I received a cold look and realized I was once more questioning the talents of a wardrobe stylist… Continue reading

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Dirty Little Secret

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…That night I couldn’t sleep. The idea that we couldn’t escape smog terrified me. My chest burned as I imagined tar attaching to my lungs. I could feel a greasy film on my skin. I worried about the quality of life for my daughter. I was prone to coughing fits until morning… Continue reading

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Communication Discord

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…A few minutes after the stylist put the color on, it began to burn my head. In an English speaking country, or if I happen to speak Portuguese, I could simply say “Excuse me. My scalp is burning. Could you please take this off my head.” Instead, I released a soft shriek and began digging through my purse for my Portuguese dictionary. I was panicked and could not even recall the Spanish words for what I was experiencing… Continue reading

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Culinary Retreat

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…Suspecting this was some kind of cosmic payback for spending way too much of our income on New York restaurants and Whole Foods, I tried to make the best of the situation. I covered the chunks of hotdogs in Parmesan cheese from a bag, and poured some Diet Coke into the wine (a trick taught to me by a good friend in graduate school when our regressive situation meant that we were drinking only the discount wines)… Continue reading

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Sisters, you CAN have it all.

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…The fabled Amazons, female warriors of ancient Greek mythology who developed their own self-sufficient society, using men only when needed to procreate more women, were no legend. They simply migrated west and south (perhaps tromping along the Amazon River on their way to Sao Paulo?) These assertive and cunning females secretly folded themselves into history, adapted their surroundings to their own modern needs and formed a sisterhood of power and pleasures – the society of Brazilian woman… Continue reading

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