Monthly Archives: September 2010

5 Reasons Why It Rocks To Be A Stranger In A Strange Land

Just to keep this blog from swinging too far to the cynical side, because the truth is I love being here in Brazil (’cause it’s constantly providing me material), I’ve decided to post the reasons why it ROCKS to be a foreigner (specifically an American foreigner). Continue reading

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Update: Language of Love

My Portuguese is not coming along as quickly as I want (need) it to. Last week I told our maid Lu that I wanted to pleasure her cousin. I won’t make an excuse for this lewd behavior, but I will … Continue reading

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Update: Communication Discord

Yesterday, I went to get a much needed facial (between the change in climate, and the pollution, I was in bad shape). As is customary, once I was set up, the facialist turned on some “relaxing” music. Only… it was … Continue reading

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Show Time

…I erupted in helpless giggles over the idea that this was what an American tourist might be wearing in London. I had never seen anything like it. But similar to my Gossip Girl wardrobe experience, I received a cold look and realized I was once more questioning the talents of a wardrobe stylist… Continue reading

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Dirty Little Secret

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…That night I couldn’t sleep. The idea that we couldn’t escape smog terrified me. My chest burned as I imagined tar attaching to my lungs. I could feel a greasy film on my skin. I worried about the quality of life for my daughter. I was prone to coughing fits until morning… Continue reading

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Communication Discord

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…A few minutes after the stylist put the color on, it began to burn my head. In an English speaking country, or if I happen to speak Portuguese, I could simply say “Excuse me. My scalp is burning. Could you please take this off my head.” Instead, I released a soft shriek and began digging through my purse for my Portuguese dictionary. I was panicked and could not even recall the Spanish words for what I was experiencing… Continue reading

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Culinary Retreat

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…Suspecting this was some kind of cosmic payback for spending way too much of our income on New York restaurants and Whole Foods, I tried to make the best of the situation. I covered the chunks of hotdogs in Parmesan cheese from a bag, and poured some Diet Coke into the wine (a trick taught to me by a good friend in graduate school when our regressive situation meant that we were drinking only the discount wines)… Continue reading

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